Are you taking care of you?

I know that it seems like an easy question to answer but let’s dive a little deeper before you do. We are often placed in charge of many tasks needless to say we wear many hats despite having the one head. We are mothers, step-mothers, protectors, aunties, sisters, lovers, friends, nieces and cousins. We are bosses and workers and we often manage the unmanageable. Each role has a specific tasks and subtasks that are associated with it.

We have sets of responsibilities and a set of expectations that we are required to live up to regardless to whether they are stated or not and sometimes regardless of if they make sense or not. Many of which are societal or familial based and instilled in us since birth. How to act, what to say, what to wear, you should have kids by now or you have too many...the list of other people’s opinions in relation to OUR lives seem to go on and on. Often we are so caught up in other people’s feelings and our obligations that we do not take the time to take care of ourselves. The saying “you cannot pour from an empty cup” comes to mind.

Here's something to think about: Do you ever feel guilty when you tell someone no? Do you ever feel obligated to live up to expectations to appease other people or avoid confrontation? If so have you ever stopped to think about why you place others ahead of yourself? One of the best lessons I ever learned was it is okay for me to say "No". Not because I needed to give myself permission but because I needed to understand that the world was not going to fall apart by me saying no. By saying no, it allowed me to create a healthy boundary which is something I often failed to do causing me to overextend myself.

It is okay to take a step back. It is okay to feel lost, as long as you do not lose yourself in the process. It is okay to feel overwhelmed or unsure at times. The reason this is okay is because no one has to deal with those feelings but you. No one can make you feel whole or feel worthy. We have to deal with those emotions, reactions and the stimuli. We have to handle the health or mental repercussions or implications and most importantly the aftermath of our choices ourselves. No one should love us more than we love ourselves and we should be able to love ourselves as freely and as openly as we allow ourselves to love others. People often talk about self care; however, something that people often forget to mention is the self evaluation.

What is self evaluation? A self evaluation is when you allow yourself to evaluate the whys after they are identified. Why is this important? Self evaluation allows us to dig into that which we need healing from, those discovery truths that dwell in our root and sacral chakras. Self-evaluation though uncomfortable is beautiful.

Exercise 1:

As you stand in front of a mirror look at yourself layer by layer.

Look at that which seen (the physical) and unseen (behavioral/mental). Think about everything from the last loving thought you had to the last insult or lie that you told yourself. Take note of your emotions.

As you reflect...did you gravitate towards the mental or the physical aspects of yourself? Why do you think you gravitated towards one more than the other? When it comes to our physical, these are things to we look at every day. There are always going to be constant reminders and stimuli that will affect this. When it comes to our mental, these are things that are internal. These are the thoughts that haunt us when we are by ourselves. Once we take the time and look at ourselves through self evaluation we will be able to identify what is truly needed when we practice self love and self care.